Hazel Stilgoe- McCombe (Pronounced Mcomb)
About Me
Hi I am not sure what you are searching for in your visiting my web site, but you are welcome and I hope you find what you are looking for.
When I was searching for a therapist I needed to see a photograph of them, this made them feel real. I also I wanted to know what they offered.
I was often quick to dismiss if the things I needed weren't listed, when I could have just asked. I now realise that not everything gets included on the web pages of a therapist. So if you dont find what you are looking for, please ask me.
My background is in Childcare, Education, Health and Social Care, where I started as a Nursery Nurse working on the community with new mums in inner-city multi-cultural Derby and completed my career in this field as a lecturer.
I ventured into industry gaining knowledge of the world of construction, engineering, production, power, energy and waste processing. During this time I gained a wealth of experience beyond the world of academia and the care sector.
With each change of employment contract I pondered Counselling and Psychotherapy, having completed my BSc in Psychology at Nottingham and the Open University, I looked for a type of therapy that made sense in its approach for me. I had experienced CBT after the loss of a child but found the results weren’t long lasting. Eric Berne the founding father of Transactional analysis (TA) said that often therapies deal with the symptoms of the wound rather than the wound.
I am passionate about the inclusion of Neurodivergent individuals in everyday life and am an active advocate for the equality afforded to this group of people.
I am passionate about the power of TA its premise of we are all OK and we all have the capacity for change.
I am a Contractual Trainee member of the European Association For Transactional Analysts (EATA), and the United Kingdom Association of Transactional Analysts (UKATA). I hold student membership of United Kingdom Council For Psychotherapy (UKCP),and therefore abide by their ethical codes of conduct and practise. I am studying for my MSc in Transactional Analysis Psychotherapy and Certified Transactional Analyst
What is TA?
Transactional Analysis (TA) founded by Dr Eric Berne is based on the idea that everyone can change and the tools and terminology used in this type of therapy should be understandable by an 8 year old.
Based on the view that our transactions (communications) are at the root of our relationships, Berne analysed what our communications say about our way of relating.
This psychological method provides therapy which helps develop and understand constructive communication both internally within ourselves and externally with others.
Whilst simplistic in form it helps people achieve their full potential.
TA is under the group known as Integrative Psychotherapy simply meaning it includes other types of therapy in its core values and beliefs.
The basis of TA is that each person has three Ego States, each with their own thoughts behaviours and beliefs they determine how we transact (relate, communicate to others). These are often drawn as three stacked circles.
Where lies the secret?
The Ego States are labelled Parent - Behaviours thoughts and feeling copied from parents. Adult- with its thoughts behaviour and feelings which respond to the here and now moment as it happens and Child this contains behaviours thought feelings from childhood.
To give an example of this I often say to my clients, "Do you ever hear yourself thinking “I should” do x or y or “I shouldn’t do x or y?" This is the parent ego state. Your behaviour and responses are governed by the messages from your parents. People struggling with weight loss often carry, “You should eat all your food “. This message stops them leaving food on the plate because their parents knew that wasting food wasn’t good. This message is not conscious but often an Unconscious Script.
Unconscious scripts created by permissions or restrictions of childhood cause repeating patterns of behaviour thoughts and feelings. As we are not aware of them they can cause unhappiness and discontent without us really understanding why. In therapy exploring these childhood messages and addressing the permission or restriction changes the negative responses and more relevant positive responses more in line with your life today as an adult can be developed.